There are so many gray areas in parenting (at least it seems that way to me). So many situations where it feels like there is no clear answer on how to handle things. Always lots of opinions, but sometimes not a one-size-fits-all solution! I want to diligently train my girls to obey and to submit to the boundaries and expectations we set for them, but I also want to give them grace and not fall into legalistic parenting. I am thankful that we have seen some fruit recently. By the Lord's grace, some of our efforts to discipline have started to pay off as the girls seem to be internalizing that it's right and good to obey mommy and daddy even when we are telling them to do something they don't want to do. At this age they are starting to get the whole cause and effect thing and it has started to sink in that disobeying equals an unpleasant consequence. This does not mean that we have arrived! And just when I start to believe we have, I am quickly humbled! We are all works in progress around here. At 32, I still struggle to obey....so I don't know why I sometimes act so surprised when my three-year-olds are slow to catch on! Those wills are STRONG. (Just like mommy's!)
Two areas have caused us some discouragement lately: picky eating, and #2 potty "accidents" that don't seem very accidental. I know I am not the only mom who has a hard time figuring out what to feed everybody three times a day, every day. First world problems: too many choices!! So when I finally do plan and prepare a meal, it's incredibly discouraging when nobody will touch it! And it's not like I'm offering brussel sprouts and liver, either. The overly sensitive part of me wants to take it personally. The control freak in me wants to "make" them eat it. But the rest of me is tired of fighting the battle. So, we have decided that until eating habits improve, 1.) no more snacks, and 2.) not eating dinner = going to bed hungry. We've gone back and forth on offering fruit at night if they complain about being hungry, because honestly, by 7 PM I really just want everybody to go to bed, and empty tummies usually make it harder for them to fall asleep. But for now we are sticking to our guns on this....I am willing to offer to reheat whatever I served at dinner, but if they refuse, sorry, kiddo.
The other "gray area" issue is with two little girls who have gotten lazy about going #2 in the potty and are consistently (at least once a day each, usually more) going in their undies. We've been working on potty training for over six months now, and I KNOW they can all do it. I truly believe they just don't want to stop playing long enough to go. If it were the occasional accident, that would be different.....but I'm washing out several pairs of underwear each day, and - sorry for the TMI - at 3 1/2 the poops aren't little and cute anymore. They're gross. And pull-ups just add to the laziness because the girls think of them as diapers and won't go to the potty at all while wearing them, for #1 OR #2. So, we've been going back and forth on whether or not to discipline for this, or what to do to fix the problem. Yeesh....gray areas. We've finally decided to take away TV as a consequence, and to be proactive we've also reverted back to the reward chart if they will successfully go to the potty. Anything to give us a break from this stinky habit!!
Hopefully soon we will have worked our way through these current challenges...and then, of course, it will be on to the next one(s)! I am learning that as a parent I have to constantly pray for wisdom - and I'm starting to understand that this will always be the case. There IS no arriving! Thankfully God is patient with us when we're clueless, when we blow it, and when we forget to trust him. We are also very blessed to have the wisdom of our own parents and of other experienced parents in our church who take the time to pour into us. I'm glad we don't have to do this alone!
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